Love the healthy disagreement!

I agree that we are never in total control-- if that were the case we'd be God instead of human. The Buddha emphasized that his teachings were the "middle way" between the extreme control of austerity, and the extreme uncontrol of indulgence.

Ultimately, the purpose is good life, not memorizing dogmas. The Buddha spoke in terms of balancing mental forces: he spoke of installing conscious good-will to counterbalance our unconscious selfishness.

I think in my case of discussing control, it's not necessarily about ever reaching total control, but moving in that direction away from the very common default of having too much indulgence, unconscious ego-caused suffering. We can use consciousness to update our attitude to be and feel more harmonious, like you said. And I also agree with your statement that how we deal with our feelings is one of the highest qualities important to that.

On the other hand, Carl Jung argues we need an ego to be stable and healthy, human. Nietzsche and satanism argue the ego is the place from which everything is realized, decided, experienced, and accomplished.

Are you without ego? Or, what is your relationship to ego? Thanks again for responding and nerding out with me. :)