A Grieving Woman, Mustard Seed, And The Buddha

A Buddhist parable about accepting death

One day, a woman approached the Buddha with tears streaming down her face, and a cold, lifeless baby in her arms. She begged the Buddha to perform a miracle and bring her son back to life.

The Buddha responded: “I can help you, but only after you bring me mustard seed from a house that has not been touched by death.” The woman travelled back to her village, and started knocking on doors.

The woman had no luck with the first house. Just a few months ago, one of the elders there had died. The next house was similar: sickness took a child there too. The disappointment continued until the woman realized the pattern.

Every house has been touched by death. The quest given to her by the Buddha made the woman realize the universality of death — the impermanence of all things — including people.

Weary, the woman returned to the Buddha. He asked if she had come with the mustard seed he needed to perform the miracle. The woman admitted what she had discovered, and asked to join the Buddha as one of his disciples.

What We Can Learn From This Parable

Death is universal because change is universal. If you pay attention, you will notice that every moment of life, things are shifting, dying, transforming into other things. Buddhism calls this fundamental aspect of the universe impermanence.

Like any other fact, we can become aware of it, accept it, and adjust our actions to be in harmony with it, or, we can cause ourselves extra and unnecessary suffering by wishing it were different.

The woman obviously suffered a terrible tragedy, and it’s perfectly fine for her to grieve. The Buddha’s point is: the child is gone, and now this woman can either grieve forever, or become aware of how she is continuing to dwell on her grief, and how that multiplies the grief unnecessarily.

By taking command of her mind, directing it towards meditation and helping others who have suffered the loss of a child, the woman can train her mind away from grief, and back towards a life worth living.

If you resist impermanence, it feels like you are surrounded by death. If you work with impermanence, it feels like you are surrounded by a constantly unfolding yet never ending mystery of existence and freedom.

You are free to grieve, but you are also free to put down your grief and build a new life. You are free to suffer, but you are also free to join the quest to end suffering for yourself and everyone else.